I haven’t updated all y’all about how Thai Boxing is going, and let me just say…it still is the only thing keeping me from total breakdown. Maybe its because I live for people noticing my improvements and my hard work or maybe it’s because of the changes I have seen in myself and my taking notice of the changes. I still can’t believe that I didn’t start sooner, I hate that I have wasted so much of my life sitting on my ass or worrying about partying and acts of stupidity and for what? NOTHING. The only thing I ever got out of that was a terribly destructive relationship with alcohol and memories that haunt me to this day. Thai Boxing has completely changed my life, brought me back from the depths and continues to push me into being a better person, mentally and physically, every single day. I continue to love it, love the workouts that take me to my limits and then pushing harder past them, the bruises I hold on to like trophies, the encouragement from classmates and the confidence that has come back into my life (also the knowledge of how to effectively destroy someone is pretty handy). The only way I can think of how to properly thank Muay Thai for everything its done for me is to become a complete weapon.
I have an insane problem with wanting something really REALLY bad only up until the moment I can get it, then when said thing is finally obtainable I think too much and end up without. It’s a vicious cycle, and most often it makes me think I really didn’t want/need whatever it was in the first place. Or maybe I just really love excuses for not following through and use my indecisiveness as a crutch.